Five Vital Secrets of a Happy Marriage (continued)

3. Settle Misunderstandings Immediately.  Two persons of different background and upbringing, sometimes of different nationality and language, are bound to have misunderstandings. It would be unrealistic to expect otherwise. These are part of the adjustment that marriage entails.

Misunderstandings should never be allowed to develop into long-drawn-out quarrels. Your Bible suggests that they should be settled on the same day they arise—before nightfall. “Do not let the sun go down on your anger,” counsels the apostle Paul (Ephesians 4:26, R.S.V.), and his advice is particularly good for married couples.

Agreement may come only as a result of one party’s backing down from a position taken in the heat of argument, or saying “I’m sorry” for an unkind word or ungenerous deed. But it is a rewarding attitude to take, infinitely preferable to letting the misunderstanding fester until it bursts into open enmity. The costliness of petty grievances cherished and unresolved is beyond calculation.

Every highway to a divorce court is strewn with the resulting wreckage. At the onset of any quarrel, read these temper-cooling words: “I…beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all lowliness and meekness, with patience, forbearing one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:1-3, R.S.V.). This way lies happiness.

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